You’ve asked for it, and now here it is – the most anticipated “Best Of” list of 2015 (listed in order of preference).
January
We don’t remember much about this month, so it must’ve been good.
February
We remember only a little more about February. Four stars?
March
In like a lion, out like a lamb, March usually typifies the transition from winter to spring, and it probably did this past year as well. Who can remember? It feels like it was months ago.
April
In French, “April” is “Avril,” which is quite pretty and is also the name of world-famous rock star, Avril Ravine.
May
Oh, man, remember that Cinco party? How was it? I wasn't invited.
June
My cat got herpes. It was all downhill from there.
July
Christmas in July was a bust. Didn’t get a single card.
August
No prize in cereal box; had to collect UPCs over the series of weeks and send them all in at once. Lame.
September
Threw a party. Only my mom came.
October
I don’t even want to talk about it.
December
Star Wars Episode 7 and Christmas in the same month?! The only reason this month isn't coming in first: neither event has happened yet, and there's a good chance both could be huge disappointments. Remember Jar Jar?
November
Trump said a lot of stupid stuff and his numbers soared despite those things. Even worse: I found a hair in my Thanksgiving dinner. Dead last for this dead beat month.