The Best Months of 2015

You’ve asked for it, and now here it is – the most anticipated “Best Of” list of 2015 (listed in order of preference).

We don’t remember much about this month, so it must’ve been good.

We remember only a little more about February. Four stars?

In like a lion, out like a lamb, March usually typifies the transition from winter to spring, and it probably did this past year as well. Who can remember? It feels like it was months ago.

In French, “April” is “Avril,” which is quite pretty and is also the name of world-famous rock star, Avril Ravine.

Oh, man, remember that Cinco party? How was it? I wasn't invited.

My cat got herpes. It was all downhill from there.

Christmas in July was a bust. Didn’t get a single card.

No prize in cereal box; had to collect UPCs over the series of weeks and send them all in at once. Lame.

Threw a party. Only my mom came.

I don’t even want to talk about it.

Star Wars Episode 7 and Christmas in the same month?! The only reason this month isn't coming in first: neither event has happened yet, and there's a good chance both could be huge disappointments. Remember Jar Jar?

Trump said a lot of stupid stuff and his numbers soared despite those things. Even worse: I found a hair in my Thanksgiving dinner. Dead last for this dead beat month.