Pregnant Woman Pees For The 11th Gosh-Darn Time In Just Four Hours

CHICAGO—Expectant mother Thea Williams peed a record-breaking 11 times between 7-10 a.m. this past Saturday, a feat she had previously never dreamed possible.

“Sure, I have a small bladder and drink a ton of water,” said Thea. “But never in my wildest dreams did I think I could urinate 11 times in just four short hours.”

“It was pretty impressive,” added her husband, Edward. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud of her.”

Thea credits her success to a combination of pregnancy hormones, the weight of a 22-week fetus pushing on her bladder, and the moderate – and medically sanctioned – weekend consumption of coffee.

“But I’d be really remiss in my role as an expectant mother if I didn’t thank God for this accomplishment,” said Thea. “Through Him, all things are possible.”