Pampered Robot FAQs

It’s been an exciting time for Pampered Robot, a line of personal care items I started making a few years ago. I haven’t had the time to create a dedicated website (happy to say I’ve been too busy making products and filling orders!), in which case I wanted to carve out a little space here to answer some commonly asked questions. If you have a question you don’t see covered here, send me a message using this page’s contact form.

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ABOUT US

WHAT IS PAMPERED ROBOT?
Pampered Robot is a line of 100% natural personal care items. There are three different Pampered Robot products: Take a Chill Pill Lotion Bars, Take a Chill Pill Extra-Smooth Lotion Bars and Resting Robot Face Lip Balm, all available in a variety of scents.

Lotion Bars: Lavender, Frankincense/Myrrh and Unscented
Lip Balm: Vanilla Mint, Frankinmint and Unscented

Other scents are available upon request for orders of 10+ items, but there are some scents we just won’t do. While we make certain everything we create has a light, pleasant aroma, we also want to make sure the essential oils we use have skin-healing and/or mood-boosting properties.

HOW DID PAMPERED ROBOT COME INTO EXISTENCE?
My husband has a fairly rare skin condition called dyshidrosis, which can be especially painful for him during the dry winter months. There’s no cure, and he’s tried multiple prescription and over-the-counter creams with very little success (not to mention, everything was loaded with a long list of chemicals and petroleum by-products that in some cases even made things worse). So I had an excess of shea butter and beeswax and a desire to use it for good, which led to my first-ever batch of “Take a Chill Pill Lotion Bars.” Although the bar didn’t cure my husband’s condition, it brought him more relief than anything else he’s ever tried, so I started making them somewhat regularly (and gave a few to a small cadre of family and friends).

Then the orders – from people who’d received free samples – starting coming in. Whether they liked the fun name and packaging and wanted unique gifts – or had real success with the product – I started selling the bars to family and friends through email and social media, before recently opening the door to outside sales.

The whole cycle repeated itself after I gave out free lip balms winter 2018. They were a hit, and I recently started getting orders for those, too.

HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THE NAME “PAMPERED ROBOT”?
It all started with a character I’ve been drawing for 11+ years, which I named the “Pensive Robot” at some point along the way. When I received my first big lotion bar order, I hadn’t really created any brand support (just the bars themselves). A friend suggested I draw the Pensive Robot as a parent treating themselves to a cup of coffee or a day at the spa. A few sketches later, and the Pampered Robot was born. You can check out a selection of my Pensive Robot drawings here, if you want to see what the robot has been up to over the years (trust me, a little pampering was well deserved).

IF THE LINE IS CALLED PAMPERED ROBOT, WHY IS YOUR WEBSITE AND SOCIAL MEDIA ALL CONNECTED TO FORESHADOWBOXER?
FORESHADOWBOXER is the social media handle and web address I’ve had for years; I use it for my writing, photography and drawings. As Pampered Robot first grew in popularity, I stuck with FORESHADOWBOXER quite simply because it was the easiest thing to do. I only recently created Pampered Robot accounts on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and I plan on using those more regularly in 2020 (thus fully separating FORESHADOWBOXER from Pampered Robot). Rest assured, both accounts are managed by the same person, and you can still place an order through any FORESHADOWOBOXER or Pampered Robot account. We’d love for you to follow both because, well, it’s tough being a writer/photographer/writographer without an audience.

OK, I’M SOLD. WHERE CAN I BUY SOME OF YOUR LOTION BARS AND LIP BALM?
We hope to get our Pampered Robot website up and running sometime in 2020, but until that’s ready, you can place an order by emailing pamperedrobot [at] outlook.com OR by sending us a DM through any of our FORESHADOWBOXER or Pampered Robot handles on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

We’re also super excited to have our lotion bars now available at Page 1 Books in Evanston, Illinois. Page 1 Books is one of our absolute favorite bookstores; if you’re in the Chicago area, we highly recommend you check them out. And regardless of where you live, Page 1 offers a monthly book subscription service and amazing holiday gift bundles, all shipped to you. We were super excited to be included in Page 1’s December 2019 box and are gushing over their holiday gift bundles. Want a non-traditional holiday gift? Sign friends and family up for Page 1’s monthly box, or send them a one-time holiday gift bundle!

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ABOUT THE PRODUCTS

WHAT THE HECK IS A LOTION BAR? IS IT SOAP?
If you’ve never used a lotion bar before, it might leave you scratching your head. Sure, it looks like soap, but adding water will pretty much ruin it. So, uh, don’t do that. As a lotion bar, you use it the same way you’d use hand cream, lotion or a salve. Which is to say: you apply it and rub it in. Whether you have a dry, red patch on your chin that needs some TLC or your hands and feet are dry and cracked from winter weather, just rub it where you need it and re-apply as needed.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE ORIGINAL AND EXTRA-SMOOTH LOTION BARS?
We recommend the original bar for most uses. The extra-smooth lotion bar was made for people with mature and/or very delicate skin (mature skin doesn’t have as much elasticity, and very delicate skin can hurt when tugged). The extra-smooth bar applies more easily, with no real need to “rub” it in.

THE EXTRA-SMOOTH BAR SOUNDS GREAT! SHOULDN’T EVERYONE USE THAT?
The extra-smooth bar applies more easily because it has a lower melting point. That means you’ll apply a little more at each application. That, in turn, can mean it takes a tad longer to absorb into your skin (not to mention, you’ll get fewer applications before your bar runs out).

I CAN’T FIND MY LIP BALM AND THIS WINTER WEATHER IS BUTCHERING MY LIPS. CAN I USE MY LOTION BAR INSTEAD?
Yep! So long as you’re comfortable rubbing your lips the same place your hands have been – or you have a bar dedicated solely for use on your lips – these work great there, too.

IF I CAN USE YOUR LOTION BAR AS LIP BALM, WHY’D YOU STILL CREATE A SEPARATE LIP BALM?
Our lotion bar is safe for use on your lips (unless you’re allergic to any ingredients, of course), and it can work wonders there, too. But it isn’t *made* for lips. Our lip balm, on the other hand, is specially formulated for that region (not to mention, our lotion bars and lip balms use different essential oils).

IS YOUR LIP BALM SPF?
Nope. Not yet, anyway. Much like we believe you should use SPF when you’re outside, we don’t think you need extra SPF ingredients when you’re away from the sun. Consequently, we suggest you use Resting Robot Face lip balm when you’re inside (especially after brushing your teeth and/or at bedtime), and use your regular SPF when you’re heading outside.

SPEAKING OF RUNNING OUT, WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE CONTAINERS WHEN I’M DONE?
We’re big believers in taking care of our planet, and though we generally avoid plastics, we’re all about using ones that are easy to reuse or recycle. We’ll do a separate post on fun ways to reuse your Take a Chill Pill Lotion Bar bottles and Resting Robot Face Lip Balm tins in the near future. But until then, just keep in mind that once your item runs out, you can remove the label, clean the container, and use it to store similarly-sized items.

HOW DO I STORE YOUR PRODUCTS?
These all-natural products can soften in high temps, so we recommend storing them in a cool, dry place. Whatever you do don’t store them on or near a heat source. If you live in a warmer climate, don’t leave them in your car on especially hot days.

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PAYMENT FAQs

WHAT SORT OF PAYMENT DO YOU ACCEPT?
We love Zelle/ChasePay/QuickPay. They don’t charge any fees; you don’t have to fork over any of your personal information to a third party to use them; and most major banks offer the service for free. Don’t have Zelle/ChasePay/QuickPay? We also accept cash and check.

WHAT’S A “CHECK”?
Ask your parents. 😊

WAIT, SO NO PAYPAL OR VENMO?
At this point in time, we do not accept PayPal or Venmo. We’re trying to convert the world to Zelle/ChasePay/QuickPay for two reasons:

1. PayPal and Venmo both charge the merchant (me!) a fee for each transaction. In order to recover that money, I’d have to raise prices.

2. PayPal and Venmo both require the merchant (and in some cases the customer) share their banking information with a third party. In this age of constant hacking and data breaches, we figure the fewer services that have access to our personal information, the better.

If our current payment methods are inconvenient for customers, however, we will certainly reconsider using third-party payment services, like PayPal and Venmo. But it’s our hope to avoid them for as long as we possibly can.

I’VE NEVER HEARD OF ZELLE. HOW DO I GET IT?
Chances are you already have it and just don’t know it. Zelle is currently offered for free through all of these banking institutions. Just log into your bank account, search for Zelle and follow the steps to start using the service.

On Caroll Spinney's Passing

Caroll Spinney with Big Bird, his largest creation.
AP

One of my earliest memories as a child is being sucked through a clear plastic tube – a la those pneumatic tubes that bank drive-ups use – and zipped through a hospital, naked and exposed for all of the world to see while I screamed at the top of my lungs for someone to let me out.

Scratch that. One of my earliest NIGHTMARES as a child – one that continued to haunt me well into adulthood – was the result of being alone in a children’s hospital, my parents unable to be there all day, every day, with solo trips to CT scans and MRI machines leaving me with a lifelong fear of confined spaces and surly nurses.

It was a scary time for me, and it left a deep mark I still can’t entirely shake.

But there was one bright light. It was yellow, covered in soft feathers, and gifted to me by my big brother, who was visibly holding back tears as he gave it to me to keep me safe at the hospital.

It was a Big Bird doll in honor of my favorite Sesame Street character (the fact that he became my hospital buddy made me love him all the more). I have vague recollections of talking to him, and him to me, my little brain processing all the lessons I’d learned from the show and applying them to my new, terrifying world.

I remember, too, when my family moved a few years later, and that doll was somehow lost in the shuffle. Whether my parents donated him or tossed him and thought I wouldn’t notice or we just never unpacked that box, I don’t know, but I remember feeling so sad, so alone, when I couldn’t find him.

I felt a little like that today when I heard about Caroll Spinney’s passing. It’s so strange how the death of a celebrity – of someone we’ve never met but feel like we know – hits us in the gut. And though I’m sure Big Bird will continue to live on, this is the end of an era. Time is passing. Lives are passing.

And I find myself wishing, perhaps now more than ever, that I had something – anything – to bring me that same level of solace I once found in a tiny Big Bird doll.

Mis-Lead: Toxic Metal Continues to Find Its Way into Children's Products

Nothing says “sweet dreams” quite like a lead-laced sleeping bag.

One of the most upsetting things for me, as a first-time parent, was realizing my daughter’s first-ever sippy/straw cup contained lead paint. I’d spent HOURS looking for the perfect cup — one that stored her drink in glass (because of all the gross chemicals that leach into water from plastic); had a silicone straw (for the same reason); and yet was encased to prevent breaking if thrown or dropped. So when I discovered a cup from a “green” company that ticked all of those boxes, I felt like I’d hiked to the top of a parenting Everest. 

That bubble burst in a (not-so) glorious fashion a few months later when a friend sent me an article that confirmed the unthinkable: the demarcations on the glass portion of said sippy cup were done with lead paint. And the silicone straw? It contained cadmium. 

I was livid. Frustrated. Upset. How was this even possible? Isn’t lead paint — particularly for items INFANTS will come into contact with — banned? Would there be a recall? Was the company — which sold and continues to sell many of its products at Whole Foods — going to issue a massive apology, be completely ashamed, and explain away the matter as a manufacturing error? 

The answers astounded me: there would be no recall. Having lead paint on a surface infants and toddlers drink from is somehow still legal (there are certain restrictions, but they’re a joke, particularly when you consider the amount of lead that is safe for babies and toddlers is ZERO). 

Worse yet, even though the company (Green Sprouts) offered to replace the glasses with “paint free” ones for free, there was no real apology (and certainly not a recall). Rather, they explained it away as “within legal limits.” And I say again: NO AMOUNT OF LEAD IS “SAFE” FOR ANYONE, LEAST OF ALL SMALL CHILDREN. Even small amounts of lead exposure, particularly for infants and toddlers, can cause intellectual disabilities, brain damage, kidney failure and possibly death. 

Lead paint should have gone the way of dinosaurs, blast into extinction by the meteor of public awareness. But instead: it persists — presumably because it’s dirt cheap — and even companies with “green” in their name and mission continue to use it with reckless abandon.

Skip ahead two years. I’m at Walmart looking for a camping chair for my daughter when I stumble upon this adorable rocket ship sleeping bag from Ozark Trail (Walmart’s own line of outdoor gear). It feels soft, like cotton, and since my daughter is currently obsessed with all things pertaining to space, it seemed like the perfect purchase. I was trying to figure out what the lining was made out of when I instead found a tag indicating the sleeping bag (for some inexplicable reason) contains lead and “can be harmful if chewed.”

All of the anger I felt two years ago came flooding back. Like many three-year olds, my daughter still puts WAAAYYY too many things in her mouth, and the odds of her eventually suckling on her sleeping bag are pretty high. So while on one hand I’m grateful they at least had the wherewithal/legal foresight to mark the bag with this disclaimer — our sippy cup manufacturer gave no such notice — I’m still beyond upset that lead is still widely used in consumer goods, particularly those made for children. 

This. Is. Not. O. K. 

So how do we make it stop? We could storm the legal bodies that set the limits (namely the CPSC, in the case of consumer goods), but no one really seems to listen to anyone unless money is exchanging hands. And let’s be honest: whether out of necessity or simply the desire to save, the vast majority of consumers are more likely to roll the dice on a cheaper product, rather than invest in a more expensive item that has been rigorously tested and certified to not contain harmful materials. Such products do exist in some consumer categories, but they are cost-prohibitive for many families (infuriating when you consider lead shouldn’t be allowed in any products regardless of price tag, and no companies should allow it under the flag of “well, it meets [lackluster] government regulations”) .

So what is a consumer to do?

For starters, look closely at product labels. If it has a “contains lead” warning, don’t buy it. If it includes a warning about how it doesn’t meet safety requirements for the state of California — the state with the strictest regulations — don’t buy it. Companies make merchandising decisions based on sales. If we keep buying it, they’ll keep making it. If we don’t buy it, they’ll eventually stop. It’s economics 101.

And if you buy something with no such warning label that is later determined to contain anything unsafe: raise a stink. Call them. Write them. Demand they do better, and stop buying them until they do. 

Because contrary to many idioms, “love” isn’t the universal language — money is. And until we start speaking with our wallets, products containing lead and other harmful materials will continue to find their onto store shelves.

Tips and Tales to Help Our Littlest Students Get Ready for Their First Day (and Bid Farewell to Pre-Preschool Jitters)

If I learned one parenting trick from Fred Rogers (spoiler alert: I’ve actually learned dozens), it’s that anytime I subject my kid to a new experience, it’s crucial to set expectations before we arrive. Helping your child understand what’s going to happen—and giving it a positive spin—can be crucial to avoiding meltdown, tantrums, crying fits or even just basic jitters (our children, much like us, all express their anxieties in different ways).

To this very day, I recall many lessons I learned from Mr. Rogers as a child, so when my own little one came along, I was eager to share those same lessons with her through the miracle of online streaming (HOT TIP: you can watch old episodes for free on the PBS Kids app or on Amazon Prime). Add to that Daniel Tiger is a Mr. Rogers spinoff that has translated many of Mr. Rogers’ lessons (and even his songs) to cartoon form, and the parenting/childing lessons are nearly endless.

All a long way of saying: we’re big believers in setting expectations for our three-year-old. And with the first day of preschool just a couple weeks away, we wanted to make sure she knew what to expect. So we took a four-pronged approach. We:  

1. Watched episodes of Mr. Rogers and Daniel Tiger that deal with “going to school.”

2. Helped her get excited by letting her pick out a new backpack and occasionally talking about all of the fun things they’ll do.

3. Signed her up for a few different 30-60-minute classes where she’s “all by myself” while one of us waits outside of a door (usually behind glass). Our local library is amazing and offers one such class for free, and our budget was eternally grateful for that. We also did gymnastics and swim, which required some cutbacks to pay the bills, but the end result is a child who seems to have overcome the bulk of her separation anxiety.

4. Read some “first day of school”-themed books.

What we noticed with the “first day of school”-themed books is that there is an overwhelming presence of fear in many of these books, and we were a bit conflicted about that. Our daughter isn’t afraid of school—rather, she’s quite excited—so introducing the idea that there are things to worry about seemed, well… to create fears that otherwise wouldn’t have existed.

For example: our daughter wasn’t afraid of storms, or the dark, until she watched age-appropriate television shows about overcoming those fears. Instead of teaching her to not be afraid, they exposed her to the very notion that thunder is terrifying and monsters might be hiding in the darkness. Not at all what those shows intended, I know, but that was the net effect for a child who previously didn’t fear those things.

But all kids are different, and littles heading into full-day programs might be a little more concerned than those embarking on part-time adventures. So when it comes to books or television programs you’re selecting for your child, it’s imperative you have a grasp of how much anxiety your child is feeling (if any) and preview the material yourself before you share it with your child (something I obviously failed to do in the aforementioned scenarios—let my mistake be your cautionary tale). That way you can curate reading material to suit your need. If your child is expressing anxiety and fear, read stories that name those fears and can help your child overcome them. If your child is excited about school but is prone to anxiety and might feel nervous the moment they see you walk out of the door, avoid books that discuss fears in depth and instead look for ones that explain what a school-day entails. To help simplify things, I’ve labeled the below summaries based on how the books approach fear.

There are dozens if not hundreds of books out there on this very subject, and I’ve barely scratched the surface here. If you’ve read anything on the subject that you find to be out of this world, please leave a comment on this page with the book title, author and the approach the book takes. That way, parents who come here looking for back-to-school reading material have a more comprehensive pool to draw from.

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I Will Be Fierce!
Written by: Bea Birdsong
Illustrated by: Nidhi Chanani

Approach: Fears are alluded to, but in such a positive, indirect way it’s unlikely to trigger anxiety.

Perfect For: Kids 3-8, whether they’re going to school (or riding the bus) for the first time, changing schools or just need a little motivation to help them conquer the day.  

Summary: This tale is all about being the hero of your own story, no matter what the world throws your way. It’s so positive and life-affirming, its title phrase could even serve as a mantra for adults heading to work. Essentially, a little girl wakes up ready to tackle the day, and she does just that in near-epic fashion. The story mentions monsters, dragons and giants though the corresponding illustrations depict images from an ordinary school day. She repeats “I will be fierce” every few pages, with all other sentences being active “I will _____” statements. For example: she says “I will dare to walk with the giants” while waiting with bigger kids at a bus stop; “I will conquer my fears” and “I will make my voice heard” when working up the courage to raise her hand to speak in class; and “I will build new bridges” when approaching a kid sitting alone in the cafeteria.

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My First Day of School (A Pre-Level One Ready-to-Read Book)
Written by: Alyssa Satin Capucilli
Photographs by: Jill Wachter

Approach: No fear. This book is great for setting expectations about a school day and never mentions potential worries or anxiety triggers.

Perfect For: Kids going to pre-school or kindergarten for the first time who don’t know what to expect.

Summary: With just 1-2 rhyming sentences per page, this non-fiction book has a sing-song quality that helps kids grasp sentence structure, learn to read and hold onto the key message. It takes a very straight-forward look at the school day and even includes an appendix at the end that explains each part of a typical day (for pre-school or kindergarten) in short, easy-to-digest paragraphs. Topics covered include: arriving to class, free play, circle time, weather station, outdoor play, snack time, hand washing, imaginary play, block building, story time, music time, class pets and making new friends.

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Butterflies on the First Day of School
Written by: Annie Silvestro
Illustrated by: Dream Chen

Approach: This book is about first-day jitters without any specific fears called out. It is a narrative that shows the different parts of the school day without necessarily naming them.  

Perfect For: Kids going to pre-school, kindergarten or possibly even first grade (especially if they will be riding a school bus).

Summary: This is a charming narrative about a little girl who is excited to go to school, but starts to experience “butterflies” in her belly the night before her first day. Butterflies quite literally fly out of her mouth with every interaction, but as the day progresses there are fewer and fewer butterflies–and she ultimately reaches out to another little girl with butterflies to help her feel more at ease.  

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School of Fish: Friendship on the High Seas (A Level One Ready-to-Read Book)
Written by: Jane Yolen
Illustrated by: Mike Moran

Approach: This book explores potential fears as abstract scenarios with quick resolutions.

Perfect For: Kids going to pre-school, kindergarten or possibly even first grade who are likely to experience first-day anxiety but respond better to stories a little further removed from reality.

Summary: This story follows a little fish on his first day of “school.” It shows him meeting up with friends, riding a “shark bus” and playing hide-and-go seek in a clam shell—and being worried that their friend might never find them—and losing their lunch box. The resolutions revolve around friendship and sharing. The story is told in rhyme, with 2-4 simple sentences per page.

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Superbuns
Written & illustrated by: Diane Kredensor

Approach: This isn’t a “first day of school” book, per se (I’ll explain why I’m still including it here a little later). Consequently, no related fears are mentioned.

Perfect For: Kids 4-8.

Summary: This story has no direct correlation to school, but I’m still including it in this list because of the import it places on kindness. Those first few days/weeks of school can be so crucial when it comes to making (potentially lifelong) friendships, but this can also be the time when some kids are first exposed to bullying. In Superbuns, kindness is one little bunny’s superpower. She spends her days being kind to everyone who crosses her path, even her kid sister Blossom who does not value kindness. But then a lost creature crosses their path, and Blossom—who is initially terrified—learns a valuable lesson about being kind.

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NOTE: Many of the aforementioned episodes of Daniel Tiger are available in book form via Simon Spotlight. One such book, Daniel Goes to School, covers the first day of school (in that one, Daniel gets worried when he realizes his father won’t be sticking around for the school day). He learns that “grownups come back” and has fun playing with friends and partaking in everyday preschool activities. We’ve seen the corresponding episode of the show but haven’t read that particular book; I’ll update this post once we have it.

Old Navy, New Rage

Whoever designed the clasp on this Old Navy dress did NOT have people with hair in mind. Which is odd when you consider the majority of potential buyers fit that very description.

In fact, I lost a few chunks of hair throughout the day before getting it stuck so badly, I couldn’t move my neck. I was walking to my car at the time and had my keys in my hand when I tried freeing my hair from the clasp’s iron grasp.

So naturally my keychain ALSO got stuck, which means I’m in a public space with my keys stuck in my hair AND my hair so stuck in the clasp that I can’t straighten my neck. Mind you, this is a Toy Story keychain, so I’m walking around with Forky AND my keys in my hair.

(I kept my hand on the keys and just pretended I actually wanted them there BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE STARING.)

So I unlock my door by clicking the remote entry button ON MY HEAD, get in, sit down and somehow manage to free the keychain. But my hair is still caught in the clasp. 

I’m contorting as much as I can despite the pain and finally work it loose. I drive home, talk to neighbors, walk inside and put on a sweater (it’s 85F) to cover the clasp and prevent another incident.

I soon discover WITH HORROR that my contorting caused the zipper to be knocked off track, which led to the two sides separating. This, as you have likely sorted out, resulted in A GIANT GAPING HOLE along my backside.

(I’m not sure when it first appeared, but I suspect it was there in time for a few dozen people to see.) 

Next I’m trying to remove the dress, but I can’t because the zipper is stuck at the top. I do what I can for a few minutes before finally confronting the inevitable: I was going to have to go full-on HULK.

There’s no video evidence to prove it, but I’m pretty sure I roared as I reached behind my back, grabbed the top of my dress on both sides AND RIPPED IT IN TWO.

(If you’re wondering what material this dress is made out of, you’ll just have to trust me when I say it’s as close as you can get to carbon steel while still having pliability.)

So now my dress is in the trash along with my ego. All a long way of asking: anyone out there have some Super Cash burning a hole in their pocket? I know a girl who could use it, and she cannot afford the luxury of a lesson learned.