New Year’s Resolution Purchase Just An Expensive Coat Rack By This Point

This $3,000 coat rack will be paid off in just 36 months.

This $3,000 coat rack will be paid off in just 36 months.

CHICAGO—When James and Alice Madison set their goals for 2016, they had high hopes for “getting healthy” and “taking better care” of themselves.

“We started off really great, too,” said James. “I mean, sure, we’d stayed up late New Year’s Eve and were too hung over on Jan. 1 to work out, but you can bet we hit our new elliptical pretty hard on Jan. 2.”

“That’s for sure,” Alice agreed. “I’ve never worked out so hard in my life. Between working out daily and eating healthier that first week of January, I lost two pounds and James lost almost three."

When asked how regularly they use their $3,000 Precor elliptical now that we’re nearly three weeks into the New Year, the couple admits their workout vigor has started to taper off.

“We’re busy people,” said James. “We both work full-time jobs, and we spend two hours commuting to and from work every day. But I still work out at least once, maybe twice, every couple weeks."

The couple might be burning fewer calories now that 2016 is nearly 1/12 over, but their new, gym-quality piece of equipment isn’t exactly going to waste.

“It’s been super helpful for when we return home from work and don’t have the energy to walk all the way across the room to hang our coats in the closet. This way, they’re always nearby whenever we need them,” said James.

Now that they're losing hope for 2016, what does the couple have planned for 2017?

“I think we’ll really get serious about being healthy in 2017. We might even get one of those spin class bicycles,” said Alice. “That’s something we could really use, you know?”