Interim Chicago Chief Promises To Do A Better Job Covering Up Police Misconduct

 Acting CPD Superintendent John Escalante

Acting CPD Superintendent John Escalante

CHICAGO—Shortly after being appointed interim police superintendent in a city embroiled in gang violence and suffering from an escalating mistrust of public officials, 29-year CPD veteran John Escalante was quick to make one promise to the people of Chicago. 

"Gone are the days of using protests and demonstrations to bend government officials to the will of the people," said Escalante. "We as a department need to do a better job covering up police misconduct in the first place, before public dissent even begins. If word hadn't leaked of the video that showed a black teenager being fatally shot by a Chicago police officer sixteen times, we wouldn't have been in this position in the first place."

Escalante lauded the actions of police officers who allegedly deleted surveillance video footage of the shooting at a nearby Burger King as "something to aspire to." He added: "We will make more efforts to clean our bloody footprints from city streets before your camera phones can capture them."

Escalante insists that this will bring peace to the City of Chicago. 

"To quote the Bible, 'Knowledge begets distrust. Distrust begets protests. And protests beget violence,'" said Escalante. "We must break this vicious cycle before more police officers lose their jobs."