Man going to hit snooze button just one more time

Life can wait

Life can wait

CHICAGO, Ill.—At 5:35 this morning, Oriole Park man Mitchell Brooks swore this would be the last time he hit the snooze button before getting out of bed.

But sources close to Mitchell confirmed he continued to hit snooze every nine minutes for the next hour.

“Whenever his alarm went off, he’d hit the snooze and swear it'd be the last time,” said his wife, Linda. “It wouldn’t be so annoying, if it weren’t for the fact that he does this every morning, and I have my own alarms to contend with.”

Between their respective phone alarms, the hours of 5 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. are generally riddled with a cacophony of ringtones every three minutes.

“It’s probably the most restless part of our day,” said Linda. “But what are we supposed to do? The human body isn’t designed to get up this early, and let’s be honest—there isn’t really anything that great waiting for us once we do.”

Both contend their reaction to their morning alarm has changed with time.

"I used to jump out of bed at the sound of my first alarm, ready to start the day," said Mitchell. "I'd only hit snooze if I'd been out late with friends the night before. But now that time and disappointment have set in, I have a really hard time taking my alarms seriously. Most mornings they just trigger an emotional response that can best be described as 'Pavlovian depression.'"

He added that when he started using his phone's alarm in lieu of a traditional alarm clock, he initially struggled to find the snooze option every morning, and that delay would sometimes cause him to wake up.

 "But now I don't even have to open my eyes," he continued. "My fingers know exactly where to go."